Every successful succession has a productive mentorship behind it. Grooming the next generation of leaders is an integral part of a family business, or any other closely held business. A significant portion of the “IP” of the business resides in the current leadership’s brain. Transferring that knowledge to the next generation of leaders is crucial—But it’s easier said than done. In my work as a family business consultant, I have witnessed, time and time again, broken mentor-mentee relationships. The most common reason these relationships break down (or fail to achieve lift off) is the generational divide. Perhaps now more than ever, the generations see the world very differently. The younger generation—specifically Millennials who are arriving at the age where they are nearing a leadership position—treat work much differently than do Gen X and the Baby Boomers. Millennials crave work/life balance and lean on technology to replace some of the old ways of doing things. For many older leaders, this is anathema. They tend to view success as the result of hard work and “putting in the time.” Neither view is wrong, but the divide can sink a business. If you are a mentor or mentee and you find yourself looking over the edge of this divide, here are some strategies to get the relationship back on track.
Align Your Goals and Manage Expectations
One of the biggest roadblocks to a good mentor-mentee relationship is confusion—confusion about what each is trying to get out of the relationship and confusion about what is expected of and from each person. Both parties MUST communicate their expectations, so that they can be effectively managed. I like to use the “Stop-Start-Continue” technique, where each party identifies specific behaviors that they want the other to stop, start or continue, i.e. “start getting to work earlier,” or “start mastering this specific skill,” or “keep treating the team with respect.” While this technique is most often used as a mentor-to-mentee framework, it can work both ways. The mentee should use the technique to communicate needs, like “stop ignoring my suggestions,” “start involving me in larger decisions,” or “continue to meet with me weekly.”
Treat the Mentorship with Professionalism
Go about your mentorship role like you go about your business. Take some of the successful operational tactics from your business and apply them here. Prioritize the mentorship sessions as if they were a client meeting. Make the process repeatable and easily understood. The approach that worked for your business will likely work for your mentorship as well—not to mention the fact that the future of your business depends on it.
Embrace a Comprehensive Approach
Leave no stone unturned when it comes to your mentorship. Beyond the day-to-day tasks you’ve put in place for the mentorship, keep the conversation going. Mentor in real-time. If your mentee is displaying positive behavior, encourage it; likewise, if your mentee is not displaying positive behavior, encourage them to do so. Encourage the mentee to do the same. Two-way communication is crucial. It will bring clarity, and thus progress, on a much faster timeline.
Understand the Person Beyond the Position
The mentorship goes beyond the tactical and into the emotional. Learn your mentee’s motivations, aspirations and definition of success by establishing a space and time for this type of communication. In a family business, this portion is often ignored. There’s a misconception that familiarity equals understanding. That’s not always the case. Take the time to really get to know your mentee—regardless of how well you know them.
Recognize and Value Your Differences
The generational divide is real—but you can bridge the gap. Acknowledge the differences in your work styles, values, and communication. Then figure out how to blend them together in a way that best suits the business going forward. The right mix of styles make take time to find, but it’s necessary. Every business must adapt to the times, but the businesses that retain the core values of what made them great are the ones that last.
In conclusion…
Mentorship is not just about transferring knowledge—it’s about building a shared vision for the future of the business. By aligning goals, maintaining professionalism, embracing open communication, understanding personal motivations, and valuing differences, mentors and mentees can forge a partnership that transcends the generational gap—and puts the business into good hands going forward.
